Romancing The Bedroom
An inviting, romantic bedroom can many times be the key that makes and keeps a relationship romantic. When doing this project it is important to keep in mind the goal of creating a special place or "haven" for the two of you to share your love and affection. Anything that detracts from this should not be included. If you're not sure about it, then don't use it.
In this article I'll cover various subjects and tips that will make the best use of everything possible to create your ultimate romantic paradise. Whether you just want to add a few romantic touches or completely redesign the room, you'll find the ideas here! In some sections of the article you'll find references from a recent survey of over 200 romantics regarding romantic bedrooms. Enjoy and happy romantic decorating! :)
Rules Of Play
The first thing to address is the rules of the room. What you will allow and disallow in the room. Many couples choose the "no distractions" rule. This usually means:
- the room is ALWAYS clean
- no tv
- alarm clock not generally visible
- a quiet, serene outside atmosphere
- no arguing in the bedroom, ever
- avoid talk about current life stresses in this room
- any other guidelines you'd like to have for this room
Now that you've decided the "room rules", it's time to take a look at the structure of the room.
The first bedroom basic to look at is the flooring. Do you have carpeting or hardwood type floors? If you're replacing your carpet try using a light pastel color to make the room more open and airy. In our user survey the softer and thicker the carpet was, the better. If you can't replace your carpet but would still like a change, try a large, area rug or a small rug. Again, the softer and thicker it is, the better. If you have a hardwood type floor, you may want to add an area rug or, for the ultimate in romance, a Persian or bear rug.
Once you've decided on the flooring, look around and take a good assessment of the structure of the room. What elements do you like or dislike about the room? Maybe a corner has a special romantic appeal or a closet is a little too small or displaced. Whatever they are, take some time and write them down now.
Now take a look at the window(s). Is there a view? Can you see the sky? Are the windows open and expansive? What climate do you live in? If there is a heavy draft you might want to buy double-paned windows or place thick curtains on them. In our user survey, a large, open window to invite the spring/summer breeze was the top choice and a window with a view of the moon for romantic moonlit lighting was second.
Other romantic structural items you may want to include are a fireplace and/or a hot tub. If you don't have a fireplace, a TV with a fireplace setting playing may do, or you could also have an area filled with lots of candles. :) A home spa system would be a good substitute for the hot tub as long as you have a master bath attached to the room.
The main furniture piece will be the bed. In a small room, positioning the bed at an angle in a corner of the room can make it appear larger. If possible, for the moonlit lighting mentioned above, position the bed in a place you can view the sky. A few Feng Shui tips on bed positioning include:
- don't place the bed where your feet are directly in front of the door
- don't place the bed under a main or heavy beam
- avoid hanging lights or lamps directly over the bed
In our user survey the most romantic bed was one which was large, soft and inviting. Also mentioned was a waterbed and a canopy style bed.
The next largest piece(s) of furniture vary according to personal preference and taste. You may have a dresser, dressing table, armoire, night stand(s), chair and/or small tables. My personal preferences are: one very comfortable chair or loveseat for romantic reading; a bedside table on which to place items such as candles, massage oils and photos of my husband and I; and picnic baskets stacked on the other side of the bed to create an illusion of another nightstand/bed side table (more on this in Adding Romance). Like I said, these objects vary according to personal taste. I do suggest at least having a bedside table for convenience during your romantic moments and a trunk, chest or large basket to keep spare blankets and special romantic momentos in. Also, remember to keep a cozy but not cluttered look. When you're running out of walking space try removing a few items and see how your mood changes.
The main influence in the mood of a room is it's color. Because of this I've created a color mood guide to help you choose the perfect colors. To view this click here. In our user survey the top response was: soft colors.
Once you've decided on your color scheme... stick to it. Varying your colors too much creates disharmony in a room. A few colors here and there are fine but don't stick a black chair in a room with a light green, white or yellow bedding set. Keep as much continuity and flow as possible.
According to our user survey the next most important mood setter was the fragance and aroma of the room. Because the possibilities on this topic are endless, I've created a handy aroma guide for you. To view this click here. When choosing the perfect aromas for you and your love keep in mind your partner's sensitivity and allergy level. If they're not particularly fond of scents, stick to light, fresher, airy scents.
Lighting also plays a crucial part on the "romanticness" of your room. Dimmed, soft lighting is the preferred. Lights that can be dimmed are the ideal. If you have a specific area of the room or piece of artwork you'd like to highlight, point a few lights in that direction. If you have a bright street light near your window, find curtains that can block it.
You can't mention lighting and forget candlelight! This was the number one ingredient to a romantic bedroom in our user survey. There are no limits to the quantity of candles, or their size and shape. In fact, the more diverse your candles are... the better! For the most romantic candlelight effects view the color and aroma guides to choose scent and color.
When all is said and done, the thing a person usually remembers most is what music was playing. Place a stereo or surround sound unit in your room with the speakers in ideal locations. Try to keep the speakers away from the head area of the bed as they can become intrusive. Invest in a large collection of romantic music and add an extra romantic dynamic to your setting!
Flowers, nature's way of being romantic. Adding them instantly brightens up any room, especially the often overlooked bedroom. Roses are considered the most romantic flower, with daises and tulips coming in second and third. For the complete list of the top ten romantic flowers click here. For our romantic flower meaning guide click here.
Romantic art is an often overlooked feature in bedroom decorating. Use artwork that personally communicates to you. If you enjoy watercolors, oil paintings, photography, etc. use it! A fun and romantic series of art would be pictures of romantic couples or photos of the both of you. Be creative!
Possibly the most romantic touches that can be added to a room are those that are made romantic by experience. In this, I'm speaking of personal romantic momentos, collections and anything that has special meaning to you both. Being surrounded by your personal memories can inspire a relationship like nothing else.
Linens & Bedding
Once again, our user survey weighed heavily on the choices for this section. Below is a list of the results by topic.
Sheets: satin, silk or soft airy cotton
Comforter: either down/feather or incredibly soft and fluffy. A good quality quilt or a something with lace, is also very romantic.
Pillows: TONS of pillows! They should be soft and fluffy. For a complete entourage of pillows have: 4-6 standard/queen size pillows (depending on the size of your bed); 6-8 various size and styled throw pillows and 2 large throw pillows that are comfortable for sitting on the floor.
Curtains: Romantic, light and airy. Curtains can be an incredibly romantic and sensual decorating aspect of your room. Think of an ideal romantic relationship scene with your partner, then think of what style and color curtains complement that scene. Choose the one that communicates to you most.
Once you're "bedroom of love" is complete it's time to enjoy it! To make the most out of any bedroom here are a few ideas! Items to always have on hand: massage oil, lotions, romantic and sensual clothing, and misc. sensual items. In the Furniture section of this article I mentioned stacking large picnic baskets or hat boxes to use as a night stand and store your romantic items. I would personally suggest stacking at least three baskets or boxes.
In one of the baskets I would place special wine glasses, corkscrew, cheese cutter, chocolate syrup and any other edible treat. You may also opt to store the first few items in your kitchen. Personally, I've found it's more convenient to just bring in a bottle of wine and have everything right there.
In another basket I would put bottles or massage oils and lotions, spare hand towels, spare candles, a lighter or matches, any sensual items, bag of flower petals, spare sheet for when you are using something that might stain or ruin your bedding, and any other item you might desire.
The third basket should contain your romantic "goodies". These are the fun things you can do together to keep your relationship open, communicative and most importantly... fun! I personally recommend: 2 romance board games; 2 romance/sensual card games; romantic quote and poetry books to read to each other; a romance novel; a romantic idea book, like 1001 Ways To Be A Romantic or Romantic Questions (both by Gregory J.P. Godek); sensual advice books; how to books on massage or other related topics; if you have a TV and VCR in your room, a collection of your favorite romantic movies; and anything else your heart could desire!
In deciding to create a romantic bedroom you've decided to make a commitment to adding more fun and romance to your relationship and life. Being open and honest with each other in your decisions about what goes in the room or not will be the key to your success. Remember, life is a game. The better you play the more rewarding it can be!