Not Sexy Enough
Question: Well, my fiance and I have a loving relationship..but I feel I'm not sexy enough for him. For a while, instead of looking at MY body and making love to ME, he looks at the porn girls on the net and masturbates in the shower. I've explained to him that it really hurts my feelings and brings down my self-esteem, and he just keeps doing it. He then lies to me about him not doing it, and I find out that he does, and it makes me feel even more uncomfortable that he lied. Now I have no self-esteem left. Do you have any advice on how I can become sexy enough for him? I've gone to the extremes of dying my hair a way darker color than it is, because he likes dark haired women. Can you help me?
Answer: It might be time to find another love. Anytime you feel you have to change yourself to make someone like or love you, there is cause for concern. Just because he feels he has to lie or do other things DOESN'T mean you are not sexy or attractive. Everyone has different tastes. In know it sounds like a cliche, but real beauty comes from within. When you have a loving and healthy relationship, sexual attraction comes with it. If he's lying to you, you need to take another look at this relationship. Are you sure you want to marry someone you can't trust? If he is looking at porn already in the relationship what do you think will happen once you get married? And, the biggest concern for me, why would you want to marry someone who makes you feel less about yourself? To me, the point of being in a relationship, sexual or not, is to be with someone who makes you feel better about yourself and visa versa. Please reevaluate your decisions and KNOW that you are NOT unattractive or less sexy!