Feeding On Me
Question: After ten years of marriage and four kids, I can not seem to convince my husband to go down on me. What can I do to encourage him without embarrassing him, or me, in the process? He knows that I want it and I have told him that I understand, but what could be holding him back? He has always been shy in the bedroom, but I believe this is because I have been his only partner. I have told him what I like and where, but it still bothers him. Do I keep prying or give up the idea that I will ever experience this type of satisfaction ever again?
Answer: There could be a variety of reasons why he hasn't ventured down south. His reasons could range from an insecurity issue to the thought of the act being completely repulsive. I'm pretty confident you'd know if it was the later, so I will address the more common "problem areas" to a lack of lovin' down below.
A huge issue for many men is hygiene. I'm not talking about just being clean either - which of course you should be! Being trimmed and freshly scented can help overcome most obstacles. When washing, use a scented soap - something that will appeal to him like a fruit or vanilla, and keep on top of the upkeep of your nether region.
Another reason men may shy away comes down to feeling inadequate or unsure of what they're doing down there. A lot of this can be resolved through the presentation of the oral intercourse. With that in mind, here are a few techniques you could try to get him in the mood.
Flavored & Fun
Use sexual aids to liven up the passion play. Make yourself a whipped cream bikini or turn yourself into a human sundae. He'll have to lick you clean! There are tons of flavored syrups and edible lotions on the market as well. Try doing a search for edible lotions or other oral aids.
Let the Games Begin
Many erotic board games include cards or instructions to please your lover orally for a set amount of time. This could be a great way to introduce your partner into this type of love play. It's in a structured setting, so he can feel a little bit in control of the terms while also having fun.
Playing Together Is Twice the Fun
Reduce his mental agony by sharing the task together. His mind will be preoccupied with what you are doing to him, so it can help alleviate any tension or negative thoughts about the act.
Once he gets more comfortable with this type of sexual activity, broaden both of your skills by ordering oral sex technique DVDs or reading a few books on the subject.