Adding The Spice
Question: I am newly married for the second time. I am 32 and my husband is 40. Being that I had only been with one other partner (my ex-husband) I assumed my new husband would be more experienced than I was in the ways of sex. This is not the case. Although he is a beautiful, tender lover and I do enjoy sex with him, he tends to be very repetitive in foreplay. I always know what move he will make next. Although we do have good communication, he is very touchy and gets feelings of insecurity when we talk about sex. How can I spice things up without hurting his feelings or making him feel like he is less of a man? -Needing Some Spice
Answer: No one wants to hear that they could use some improvement in the sexual arena. Keeping this in mind, you may want to take some sensual initiative of your own to improve your situation. There are many different ways you can spice things up without him even knowing that is what you're doing. Appeal to his senses by blindfolding him, or using an edible lotion. Try making love in a different place. Instead of talking about how you can improve sex together, talk about different fantasies or things you both enjoy. Send him sensual love coupons, an erotic e-mail or a sensual poem. A great way to introduce variety is by playing a sensual love game. You can also help him increase his confidence by acknowledging how much you enjoy what he is doing. If he is already a tender lover, you probably just need to unleash a little of the animal inside of him.