How To Win At The Dating Game
The search for Mr. or Miss Right can be an incredibly daunting task without the right set of tools. Dating is an extremely fickle game. What works successfully for one person may spell disaster for another. With so many different types of people, interests and dating obstacles, how can anyone feel anything but helpless and lost when it comes to finding their perfect future mate? In the quest to find the answers, I found that the most successful "daters" all had certain successful things they did. Out of those I have developed the 7 rules to succesful dating. :) While these may not work for everybody, it's definitely a great place to start! Before you start applying these rules, remember, if you truly wish your dating experiece to be successful, treat it as you would a job or an important project. Your level of committment to this will determine your level of success. Above everything... just have fun!
Rule One: Be open to communication.
This is the simplest of rules to follow but is also the most overlooked and forgotten. Just about anything you try to do will eventually end up a failure if you're not open to receiving a response from the opposite sex. Remember, often times the only reason someone didn't come up to you was because they were too shy to. Remove that barrier by being confident in yourself, smile WHENEVER you think of it, laugh and have fun just being you! If a person doesn't initiate contact with you because they didn't like you being you, then you are defintiely better off without them!
On the other side of this rule, make an extra effort to communicate with others. If you see someone in the local store, say Hi! Make eye contact and smile with whomever you can. You'll find the more you do this, the easier it will become. If nothing else, you'll have some great conversations and maybe even find a few new friends!
Rule Two: Establish a relationship with all friends and acquaintances.
The second most important rule to successful dating is to make it known you are looking within your circle of friends. Dig up your old phone book and call everyone in it. Find out how they're doing and if they'd like to get together sometime. The more you stay in contact, and in the mind of your friends and acquaintances, the higher the chances of getting invited to social events where your potential future partner may be.
Rule Three: Be available.
It doesn't do much good to successfully do rule two and then drop the ball by not being available. When a friend calls to see if you want to do something, do it! (Even if it's just to go on a quick errand.) This follows the philosophy of rule two, the more you stay in contact and are a reliable resource, the more chances you'll have in being at places your future partner may be.
An additional note regarding this rule, it's up to you to keep in contact with the circle of friends you've chosen. If they stop contacting you or you find your social calendar dwindling, chances are it's because you stopped doing Rule 2. This is an on-going rule that is to be done all the time. If you find this happening to, DO NOT get upset with the particular friend. Just call them up, find out how they're doing and re-establish your communication with them. Remember the phrase... out of site, out of mind.
Rule Four: Do things!
No successful promotion relies on only one source for results, hence rule four. Make a list of all your favorite hobbies, sports, etc. Do some research and see what related clubs, events or programs there are. Pick the two that attract you the most and join them. If your office has any type of after-hours events... go to them. Join a gym. Take recreational classes in things you've always wanted to learn. Anything you can do in a public setting instead of a private one, do that.
While doing rule four keep in mind rule one. If you aren't be open to receiving communication then, chances are, your efforts in the end will be in vain.
Rule Five: Be organized.
With all your new activities and renewed social life, you may be feeling a bit bogged down with coming and going. Invest in a good day planner and USE IT! Decide in the beginning what amount of time you want to devote to your social life and create your calendar around that. (Don't forget to pencil in some personal time as well!) Once you start using your calender, make it a permanent fixture of your being. By doing this, anytime an invitation arrives you can quickly decide whether or not you can make it. A MUCH better alternative to having to call them back later to say yes or no.
Rule Six: Keep your belongings and yourself in good condition.
While this is truly a lifetime piece of advice, it is very critical to the dating game. First impressions mean everything. Take the extra time out to keep your car and your home always looking clean and fresh. You never know when a chance meeting may happen. Also, keep yourself in good condition by taking care of your skin, health, hair, clothes, etc. Nothing says success more than a well kept up person.
Rule Seven: Enjoy life and be okay with being single!
Remember, this is a game. Some days it may feel like you're losing and others like you're ahead of everyone. Don't expect everyone you meet to be the perfect partner. And, when they turn out not to be, enjoy yourself anyway. You never know what type of person they are if you don't take the chance to find out. Finally, have fun and enjoy living. With the activities you're doing and the friends you'll be around, take time to just relish the opportunity to have those things. In time you'll find your perfect partner. Who knows, they may turn out to be right under your nose!