I live with my boyfriend; we have been together for four years now. He has always been a very quiet man, but lately it's driving me crazy, he won't talk about anything. How do I get him to open up? Talk to me? Why doesn't he talk to me?
--Too Shy To Speak
Too Shy To Speak,
Communication styles can vary drastically person to person. Honestly, there isn't really a right or wrong way to communicate; it is just a matter of style. However, the ability to communicate with one another is perhaps one the strongest indicators of compatibility in a relationship. If this is starting to drive you crazy now, what is it going to be like ten years from now? This doesn't mean you are not compatible. He might just need some help to open up.
What you can do to help him is offer some new methods of communication that he may feel more comfortable with. An excellent idea that has worked well for many other couples is a couples' journal. In it you write notes back and forth to each other. You can use it as a way to spark new conversations or to get him to talk more about himself. Another way is through a love game that focuses on communication. You could try a couples' question book or quizzes as well to help spark some conversation.
Another aspect of improving conversation within relationships is to get more involved in hobbies together. This will give you both something in common to talk about. You both might like solving puzzles, building things, collecting something, sharing physical activities, sports or playing games. The more interests you share, the more opportunities for conversation arise.
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