My boyfriend threw me out after almost 3 years of our relationship. I have suspected of him cheating on me with some woman from work for over 6 months. I was right. A month after I move out, he moved in with her into her house. She kept taunting me with messages of them and their "new" life together on her homepage. Then about 2 weeks ago, my ex emails me telling me that he's sorry for everything, and that everything was his fault. He's told me that he has been really sick lately, and has been going for all kinds of tests to find out the problem. (he does have health issues), and then tells me that "things are not what I think between him and Sue". I think he's lying, but I'm not sure. He was so mean to me when we broke up. Now he's being nice as pie. And I do think that he wants to jump ship now and come back to me. But he has told sooo many lies that I don't know what to believe with him. He has even told me to call him at her house. But I won't. So what should I do if he really wants to come back to me? I still love him. -His Cheating Heart
Dear His Cheating Heart,
There are certain things you can never go back to. I would say this is one of them. Even if he regrets his behavior, there was a line crossed that should never be crossed, and I'm not talking about the affair. The fact that he lied and treated you badly to cover up the lie is the real issue. Certain character flaws can be overlooked and improved on. This one, if you're being completely honest, isn't one of those flaws. If you decide to get back together you're always going to be left wondering, what if he finds someone else? What is he going to do if he's unhappy? Instead of talking about it, he's going to jump ship like he's already done, and he's trying to do again. He has serious communication problems and frankly, you don't want to be in a relationship with those types of problems. So, in answer to your question, if he wants to get back together you have to look at whether or not you're willing to have the type of relationship he's offering. Love isn't always enough. You need to have enough love to be willing to communicate about anything and everything; not run and then regret it.