I work in an academic setting, and have made friends with an instructor, who has a similar background and worldview as I do. We chatter incessantly when I go visit him in his office. He's always friendly when I come around to chat with him, and during a last visit, I suggested we have coffee. He agreed, I gave him my phone number, but he never called me back. I saw him just this past week, but did not bring up the phone issue, but only had a 60 second conversation with him, just before he went off to class (he was the one who initiated the conversation) My question is this: Is he just scared, unsure or maybe not interested and couldn't decline politely about my advances? I do enjoy talking to him, and will continue to do so, but I don't know how to bring up the situation as to why he hasn't called me. -He Didn't Call
Dear He Didn't Call,
Personally, I feel you broke a cardinal dating rule. Never leave without an actual set date and time. Now, if he never calls or brings it up, you're going to be left wondering about it. Instead, when he agreed to it, you should have mentioned a specific date and time. If he wanted to back out, you would be able to tell if he could not agree on a firm time. I do think you can still work around this situation though. The next time you are having a casual talk, just offhandedly mention going out for coffee. You can say something like, "We mentioned going out for coffee sometime, how about this weekend?" Or, whenever date you want. You'll be able to tell by the way he answers if he's not interested.