My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. Things were great until about six months ago. I started to go through a lot of stress in my life (lay-off at work, money, mortgage). I started taking it out on our relationship (not intentionally). We stopped talking about anything important. I mean our conversations were centered around the weather and TV...nothing serious! Everything just started breaking apart. He loves me more than any other person probably could. He is willing to do anything for me, and I know that. He is convinced that we are supposed to be together for the rest of our lives. I'm 21 and he's 23, but I'm not ready to make that commitment. I don't know if I love him anymore. I have become used to him being there. We never cuddle or kiss anymore, and I don't think I miss it. He says if we break up, I'll be making the biggest mistake of my life. How can I tell if we should break up or not? -Is He For Me?
Dear Is He For Me?,
First, you have to look at how things were before you started going through your changes. Were you happy then? Did these problems occur before your added stresses? Many times life ushers in new things and we don't realize how those changes have affected us until later on. Your letter is a snapshot of what things have changed and how they have affected your relationship. I think you may need to take another look at your situation. You mentioned since going through some stressful times that you started taking things out on the relationship. You've stopped communicating with your partner and you've stopped being affectionate. These are two crucial elements to any relationship. You've basically cut all emotional ties with your boyfriend because of your stresses. It seems like you have someone who cares about you and loves you enough to want to spend his life with you despite all of this. Whether or not this person is perfect for you is ultimately up to you. My advice would be to make an effort to fix whatever it is that is causing you the stress, and start making large efforts to communicate and be more romantic with your boyfriend. If after a true attempt to do these things you still feel the way you do now, then maybe you would be better off with someone else. But, if not then you've just taken a few small steps to create a lifetime of happiness with someone who loves you.
Help us improve our site! Did you like this article? YES | NO