My name is Toni, and I am hopelessly in love with Derek. I'm not sad about this, but I am sad that we are separated by 242 miles. If you that number is extremely exact, it is. We both have traveled this distance to see each other, but inevitably, the clock ticks on and our time together dwindles. We attempted to have a long distance relationship. I ended that relationship after about 6 months. It was nothing that Derek did, it was me. We were faithful to each other and made at least two trips a month to see one another. That's were my problem laid. I didn't think that we were together enough. We toyed with the idea of him moving here (5 states away from his home, friends and 4 yr old daughter). I know he talks about it only to appease me, because I also have a little girl (6 yrs old) and I couldn't fathom a day without her. Within the last two months, Derek and I have resumed our long-distance relationship and yes, we have talked about the "moving thing" again. My feelings have not changed. I want him here with me. Unfortunately, he has let me know that in the "love car," I take the back seat to his daughter. How do I handle this? What do I do? Please don't forget, I love this man more than I have ever loved any other man in my life. -Back Seat Lover
Dear Back Seat Lover,
I think you might be seeing things a little one-sided here. You want him to move, but he won't because of his daughter which, like you said, indicates his daughter comes first. However you have said the same thing about your daughter. I don't know all the particulars in this situation, but it sounds like one of you is going to have to give or make some sort of compromise. You didn't say why you couldn't move to see him... Is that an option? You also said that you live only 242 miles away from each other. Is moving to a place somewhere in the middle an option? If you put your heads together and open your hearts you'll find plenty of options available to you. Where there is a will there is a way. I think in this situation you need to discover how strong the will truly is.
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