I've been in a serious relationship with the man of my dreams for 3 1/2 yrs. We even own a house together. He is 3 years my junior; I'm 27. Well, just last night I was awakened by him making moaning sounds. I figured he must be having a dream about him and I being intimate. I turned the light on just to watch him out of curiosity, when he called out in his sleep, "Ladina, I love you." He said it about 4 or 5 times. I ran out of our room crying and just let him sleep. Ladina is the name of his ex-girlfriend that he was with about a year or so before I met him. When he woke up I told him in a calm voice what had happened and all he could say was I don't know why I did that. Is this a sign for me to get out of this relationship? How and what do I do? PLEASE, I'm so confused. He told me that he loves me and is in love with me and not to worry. But, that took some serious stabs to my heart. -Dreaming Away Our Love
Dear Dreaming Away Our Love,
Dreams have always fascinated me. I've always used my dreams as a personal life "satisfaction" gauge. If things are causing me added stress, it usually shows up in some wacky dream. I don't particularly pay attention to the actual people or events in my dreams, but rather the overall theme or feeling of them. Dreams are fluid and ever-changing. In one picture you could have a bear in a red house, and the very next scene would be a dog in a yellow house. Because of this, people in dreams are often not who they really are. How many times have you dreamed someone was a certain person, but they had a different body or face? Since there isn't a definitive guide to the meaning or interpretation of dreams, it really isn't something I would consider serious enough to break off a three year relationship over. If I were in your same situation, these are the steps I personally would take:
First, I'd talk to my partner about how hearing him say that in the dream made me feel. I'd let him know that I understand he probably never even thinks of the person, and something during the day probably triggered it, but it was still upsetting.
Second, I'd clarify that there weren't any problems or stress he was feeling with the relationship that could have led to the dreams. Dreams are often a reflection of what we're feeling, so it could have been symbolic of something that has been bothering him.
Lastly, I'd spend some private, romantic time with him, so I could relinquish all doubts and insecurities about the matter.