My Own Secret

To: The One ~ From: Erin

Dear Love,

You're the last thing on my mind at night. You fill every dream I have. You're the very first thing I think of when I wake up ... and you'll never know it.

I miss you when you're gone. I miss you when you're sitting so close to me and I can't touch you. I miss you when you smile that smile at me. I miss not having you in my life, even when everyday you are.

I want you like you'll never know. I want your entire heart and soul. I see your face, I see your heart. I want your love, I NEED your love, but I won't tell you because I can't. I cannot tell you how I feel, because I know you're just my friend. I know that you're happy with that. I know you're not looking for someone to love. I know, I know, I know! But, I don't understand; I don't understand why it has to hurt so very much when you laugh, when you get so close. I don't get that. I don't know how to move on, I don't know how to let myself live without you. I just don't know!

I just want a day when it's just you and me. I just want a day when my heart can sing true. I pray to God every day that you'll tell me that you want me the same way I want you. I beg every day to an unseen force that you will one day be mine.

I'm moving away, but I'm leaving my heart with you. Forever and for always, it will belong to you. Don't tell me if you don't love me, but please for the love of God, please tell me if you feel the same way. If you don't love me, please stop looking at me with those eyes, please stop touching my arm, please stop - just stop, because my heart loves you. My heart NEEDS you, but without you, there really is no point. So please, for my sanity, love me, or leave me. Stop teasing me like this.

Forever and a day,

Erin