The Letter I'll Never Send
To: Greg ~ From: Jenn
This is the letter I'll never send to you. What's left of my heart is in this letter, and if only it were as easy as to give you this letter, I would. I never knew love until I knew you. I shared with you my mind, body, heart, and soul. We shared a feeling so deep that simply cannot be put into words. We shared our lives together; through family, God, our dreams, passions, goals in life, through love.
The love in my heart for you will never change. I was told that time heals everything. I've come to believe time just makes things a little easier to deal with. But the truth is, I still dream of you, I still cry myself to sleep thinking of you, and I still look up at our star wishing you were near me. I get dressed every day only to impress you in case we see each other. I still look out the window hoping you will pull into the driveway. I check the caller ID ... just in case.
Most of all, I pray that you will accomplish your dreams with strength and pride and honor. I still love you and want you to have the best of life. I just wish I was a part of it. I never knew that someone could ever hurt as much as I do. What scares me is I'm sure the pain in life gets worse. I guess I just want you by my side to ease it. You have hurt me in countless ways, in ways you promised you would never. In ways I never knew you could or would ever do. It is only worth mentioning because it hasn't shaken my love for you. I want to believe in forgiving and forgetting. If you would only let me forgive you. If only you showed me you cared.
What has hurt me more than God ever gave warning for was the night I needed you most. I called you from the accident scene. I was scared, alone, traumatized, and needed you badly. I have been there for you countlessly, bad injuries and accidents included. I always in my heart thought that no matter where our relationship was at the time, when I needed you the most, you would be there. I know I would do the same for you. As I laid on that hospital bed, I thought you would show up. But you didn't. You didn't call for days. I have never felt so scared, lost, and alone as I did that night. I wish I knew why, I wish I could understand. But, if you never need me, I'll be there - whatever it takes to comfort you. Please keep me in a special place in your heart ... that's where you'll stay in mine.
Always and Forever,